PodCastle Miniature 007: Tooth Fairy

[Rachel Swirsky]

PodCastle Miniature 007: Tooth Fairy

By Jeffrey Valka
Read by Stephen Eley of Escape Pod
“Tooth Fairy” makes its debut in PodCastle. It was submitted as an entry in Escape Pod’s Flash Fiction Contest, February 2007.

“The first thing you need to understand is that there isn’t just one tooth fairy…there are hundreds of them. Thousands. To them, your baby tooth is precious as a diamond. They make tremendous piles and sit on them just like dragons sit on treasure. They can never get enough.” I pause for a moment to allow this information to sink in for her. “The next question you should ask me is this: where do the tooth fairies get the money that they leave under your pillow?”

“Where do they get the money?” she asks.

Rated PG. Contains adorable postmodernism.

[Rachel Swirsky]

A couple comments copied over from the blog:

TAD:

Since the forum post isn’t up yet, I just wanted to say:

Huzzah! The long wait for more of the Flash Fiction contest winners is over!

(It is, right… this *will* become a habit, I hope?)

 

Me:

Hey, Tad.

This isn’t actually one of the winners — this is one of the stories Steve picked up on his own after the contest was over.

None of the three winners will be appearing on PodCastle. Steve and I discussed it, and decided two of them were science fiction (#1 and #3, by Gideon Fostick), and since the 2nd place winner is by me, we felt it might be better to launch it on Escape Pod.

Several of the non-winning flash contest purchases are science fiction, but the fantasy ones will be appearing here over the next year. Right now, the plan is to air most of them over the next few months, with the exception of Tina Connolly’s “Birthday Wish” which we currently plan to air near PodCastle’s one year anniversary.

[Swamp]

Huzzah! The long wait for more of the Flash Fiction contest winners is over!

(It is, right… this *will* become a habit, I hope?)

I hope this is a pattern.  Though there were three actual well-deserved winning stories, any story from the contest that garnered a purchase is a winner in my book.  Personally, I'm waiting for the tearless onion.  Has anybody contacted Wichtita Rutherford yet?

For this story, I have assumed that the monster under the dad's bed is his own childhood monster, but I had a thought after this listen that it may be the actual tooth fairy.  What do you think?

[Rachel Swirsky]

We have a reading for Tearless Onion in stock; its read by C. G. Furst who also did "Pahwahke" and "Directions." The piece is scheduled, but I don't remember for when right now.

UPDATE:

OK, I checked, and it's scheduled pretty far out so there may be some changes in the schedule before we get there.

My priority right now with the flash is making sure that we get all the stuff that's been in stock for more than two years out on the airwaves. Steve passed along a goodly number of flash pieces that he'd acquired before dividing off the fantasy podcast, and since he's not broadcasting flash right now, some of the pieces had been around for a couple years. Those authors deserve to have their work broadcast. The contest stuff is also a priority; it's just a bit after that one. (I'm also balancing other stuff, like trying to make the flash pieces ring off the full-length fiction in interesting ways, and balancing modern/traditional fantasy, and all that jazz.)

The next currently scheduled contest piece is a finalist that didn't get purchased during the initial contest. I purchased it a few months ago. "All Flee the Vocab. Quiz" by Kristine Dikeman, coming out near Halloween.

[stePH]

For me, this was the best Miniature so far.  But given what I've thought of the previous offerings, that's damning it with faint praise.

Faint praise is all I can give it, though.

[Windup]

This one cracked me up.  Which would have been great, except that I think I scared the woman in the next booth at Panera Bread.  Apparently, not many people laugh out loud at what they hear on their iPods.  (Too bad for them...)

I wasn't a forum member during the flash fiction contest, so the ending took me completely by surprise.  It's the kind of surprise ending that I love in short fiction like this.  All the better when it's funny...

[ajames]

For me, this was the best Miniature so far.  But given what I've thought of the previous offerings, that's damning it with faint praise.

Faint praise is all I can give it, though.

I actually checked this forum just to see if this was the miniature stePH finally liked. Close, I guess, but no cigar.

I do remember this story from the contest, and I also remember all the raves and not quite getting the hype. But at the time I was comparing it to some of the other shorts that really made an impact on me. Listening to it now apart from all the others was quite enjoyable.

[stePH]

I actually checked this forum just to see if this was the miniature stePH finally liked. Close, I guess, but no cigar.

I did say "faint praise" 


... but really, Terry Pratchett's Hogfather has completely ruined any other Tooth Fairy story for me.

[MacArthurBug]

This was adorable. I really liked the ending. AS to the voice uder the bed. I sort of struggled against "monster?"  and "actual tooth fairy?" myself.  I'm leaning toward actual tooth fairy. After all who would want to tell their sweet ready for sleep little one that the tooth fairy is something scary- like say a huge slavering beast with fangs the length of her little forearm.. but then maybe that's just me.

[DandHRoberts]

AS to the voice uder the bed. I sort of struggled against "monster?"  and "actual tooth fairy?" myself.  I'm leaning toward actual tooth fairy.

I have to agree. I was leaning between tooth fairy and the fathers conscience. But I am leaning more to the idea of the tooth fairy actually being a monster.

It actually made me think of "The Osteomancer's Son" in the fact that the tooth fairy might eat the teeth as a delicacy.

Very good mini. I am surprised it made me think so much actually for being so short. I guess that's what makes it good for me.

[DKT]

I remember this one from back on the contest and really enjoyed it then.  I loved hearing Steve read it. 

I kind of thought the monster under bed was just that, not the actual tooth fairy, but I can't remember why.

[stePH]

I kind of thought the monster under bed was just that, not the actual tooth fairy, but I can't remember why.

That was my impression as well.  Just a little twist ending to make it about more than just a father telling his daughter a bedtime story.

[DKT]

I kind of thought the monster under bed was just that, not the actual tooth fairy, but I can't remember why.

That was my impression as well.  Just a little twist ending to make it about more than just a father telling his daughter a bedtime story.

I feel like it's a take on father's lying to their children about how there are tooth faries, but no monsters under the bed, and in the reality of this story that's reversed.  Or something like that. 

[MacArthurBug]

I kind of thought the monster under bed was just that, not the actual tooth fairy, but I can't remember why.

That was my impression as well.  Just a little twist ending to make it about more than just a father telling his daughter a bedtime story.

That too- it was the ending that made the story, for me anyway, a cohesive unit.

[stePH]

I feel like it's a take on father's lying to their children about how there are tooth faries, but no monsters under the bed, and in the reality of this story that's reversed.  Or something like that. 

I can get behind that interpretation.  I think that's kind of what I had in mind too; I just expressed it poorly.

[Rain]

I felt this was much too short, there was barely a story in there and it just felt pointless to me

[Unblinking]

I didn't get this one at all.  The final lines confused me more than anything.